Get out. Make friends. Meet people in NJ.
Advice for Newbies
You know who you are. You attend at least one event a month, you were a Member on the old website(s), you walk into a Happy Hour and everyone calls your name, you may even HOST events.
Let's help the Newbies out (they keep pouring in) by giving them some "first event" advice. Perhaps you can:
- Suggest what to do if they attend alone.
- Share how you felt at your first event.
- Recommend a type of event that is good for first-timers (game night vs single mingle vs happy hour, etc).
- Tell them what to expect.
If your advice helps get at least one Newbie out, that is one more person you can potentially make friends with (or network with or date).
Thanks in advance!
Laura
Views: 4598
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by R on
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go to events where alcohol is involved (i.e. happy hour, single mingle, dance parties and more happy hour)
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Permalink Reply by Tara Burns on
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I may not qualify as a veteran because I've only been going to events for a year, but my social life was literally zero when I joined. I saw friends from high school once every 6 months. My very first event was volunteering for Habitat for Humanity, and let me tell you- raking leaves for 3 hours is good bonding! But I don't really count that as an event because I only met 2 people.
My first event of 2010 was speed dating. I wasn't expecting anything magical- I just went in thinking it would be good to practice meeting people. But that night I ended up making female AND male friends, and I even got a few dates! Since then I've been hooked and I go to as many events as I can. If you've been on a hike in North Jersey in the last 9 months, there's a good chance I was there. I especially love going on the hikes because there is a common goal and shared experience of climbing the darn mountain.
But THE most important piece of advice I can give (given to me early on) is GO OUT AFTERWARDS. That is where the magic happens. Sharing a meal with a group of people is much easier when you've just shared an experience (whatever it may be).
A word to the wise about alcohol- people tell me that one drink drastically affects me. So if drinking doesn't bring out your best side around strangers, it's fine to stick with soda!
I'm happy to report that I have a great group of friends from NJYP now who are helping me figure out who I am as a 20-something woman. I'm even *gasp* going out on weeknights (hey, Monday is the new Wednesday, right?)
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Permalink Reply by Amanda Forsburg on
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I would just like to comment that I LOVE Tara with a drink or two in her. ;-)
I'd also like to add that once you've made a few friends, be sure to meet THEIR friends. That's how I met Tara and many of the other members who have become my regular crew!
Tara Burns said:I may not qualify as a veteran....div>
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Permalink Reply by rachel irene on
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hmm let's see. i've been in the group for almost 2 years now, and i'm only 23. i've been to happy hours, large events, hosted speed dating/friending, hikes, and many more. here's my advice:
- SMILE! you appear more approachable that way.
- say hello. people are easily turned off by lurkers/creepers standing against the wall, just checking everyone out.
- dance (or at least try to) at the events where there's dancing. you can connect with people just breaking it down with them on the dance floor.
- have a nice, clear profile picture of ONLY you.
- put pictures on your profile, that way people can see your interests and you can connect that way.
- i second what tara said, it's always nice to go out after a daytime event. there's more opportunity to talk and connect further with people.
- try new things!
- branch out socially. even if you have a set group of friends already, try to make a goal of meeting at least 2-3 new people per event. you never know, they may fit right in with your current group and you've just made your social circle larger!
- spread the word. get your other friends, coworkers, cousins, neighbors, etc. to join. njyp is always looking for new members!
feel free to reach out to me or message me with questions you may have.
ciao, rachel
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Permalink Reply by Eric on
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I'm a Newbie. Happy New Year. I stumbled on this site and glad I did. I'm hoping to make new friends here and looking forward to the first event I may attend. Which one would you suggest?
Eric.
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I think that more casual events, like happy hours, are the best way to meet people and start recognizing faces. But it all depends on what works best for you. I first met the people I'm good friends with now by participating in events organized through the forum.
Eric said:
I'm a Newbie. Happy New Year. I stumbled on this site and glad I did. I'm hoping to make new friends here and looking forward to the first event I may attend. Which one would you suggest?
Eric.
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Permalink Reply by Katie on
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As a newbie myself, I would actually RECOMMEND heading to the events alone! There are plenty of others in the same boat, and it forces you out of your comfort zone and leaves you open to making new friends.
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Permalink Reply by Tony Panariello on
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I agree - If you are shy approaching strangers go to events that are focused around an activity (like hiking, or beer/wine tasting) which give you something to talk about up front. If you aren't shy.. crash a HH or party and just walk up to people and introduce yourself. (easier said than done, I know.. I know..)
Lucky for me I lack any sort of shyness gene.
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If you're the bolder type, walking up to people is a great idea. Just DON'T be a lurker! Introduce yourself and contribute to the conversation you joined - people are much more receptive that way.
Tony Panariello said:
I agree - If you are shy approaching strangers go to events that are focused around an activity (like hiking, or beer/wine tasting) which give you something to talk about up front. If you aren't shy.. crash a HH or party and just walk up to people and introduce yourself. (easier said than done, I know.. I know..)
Lucky for me I lack any sort of shyness gene.
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I say even if you're NOT the bold type you should approach people. I like to say I am a "recovering shy girl", and striking up conversations with strangers has been a crucial part of my "therapy". Once you're past the "Hello" (the scariest part!) it's easy...you know NOTHING about each other so you won't run out of things to talk about! Ask lots of questions, and don't be afraid to politely excuse yourself from the conversation to mingle with others.
Amanda Forsburg said:
If you're the bolder type, walking up to people is a great idea. Just DON'T be a lurker! Introduce yourself and contribute to the conversation you joined - people are much more receptive that way.
Tony Panariello said:
I agree - If you are shy approaching strangers go to events that are focused around an activity (like hiking, or beer/wine tasting) which give you something to talk about up front. If you aren't shy.. crash a HH or party and just walk up to people and introduce yourself. (easier said than done, I know.. I know..)
Lucky for me I lack any sort of shyness gene.
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