New Jersey Young Professionals
Get out. Make friends. Meet people in NJ.
Debate: Jewish Single and Interracial Dating
So... I have been getting a lot of requests lately to do Speed Dating events for “Jewish Singles” and for “Interracial Dating”. I’ve avoided these two niches because it is not possible for me to cover every religion or to cover every race. I want to be fair, I do not want to make Members mad but at the same time I want to continue to give Members what they want.
That being said… tell me why I should and SHOULD NOT do these two niche events.
That being said… tell me why I should and SHOULD NOT do these two niche events.
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Rebecca Missel on -
All right - I'll jump in the pool first and say that I can completely agree with you that it's a complicated issue and potentially very challenging. At the same time, as a Jewish person who prefers to date other Jews, having an NJYP event geared to my specific dating needs would be great.
Fairness is always important in our society and I think NJYP does a great job with keeping balance between the different counties, ages, different types of activities, weekdays versus weekends, etc. But we all know those are far more objective measures of fairness than race, religion or ethnicity.
My best suggestion for doing these very niche events would be to try them out for a brief period like 3-6 months and see what the member response is. If you're getting bombarded by requests for "Penn State alumni with Scandinavian roots" dating, then it may have gone too far. But if folks are happy with just a few subspecialities like Jewish, interracial, Asian, or Christian and it brings new people to NJYP, then it may be worth your while.
Good luck whatever you decide!
-
Permalink Reply by Laura Labriola on -
give the people what they want! Anyone who doesn't agree with the event should just not attend :-) If there are enough people who are interested to make it worthwhile holding an event then that's justification enough to have it.
-
Permalink Reply by Sharif Muhammad, MBA, CPA, PFS on -
Kudos to Rebecca for taking the first step. I've been typing and deleting for the past 20 mins (Lol).
Its a sensitive issue, but I don't see the need for these niche events. This is not because I have any problems with it. It just seems to me that the opportunities for Jewish singles and individuals of different races to mingle, network and if they choose, date already exists from the events that NJYP hosts.
I'm just not a big fan of events that excludes others.
SAM
-
Permalink Reply by Timothy Breen on -
I think the premise of NJYP is to have a group centered around NJ. There are other venues for these "niche" needs and NJYP doesn't need to be everything to everyone. I feel like the most happy hours, speed dating and mixers are mixed race so if that's what you like take advantage of those events.
Jewish singles ...well there's JDate. If you are not happy with that and feel very passionate about Jewish singles then organize your own NJ based group. Promote it within NJYP. Get a banner on the side. Laura I want a piece of the affiliate fees :-)
-
Permalink Reply by Lizzie on -
OMG! I would love to have a Penn State alumni with Scandinavian roots event! Even though I'm not Scandinavian, that's OK! Cause anyone can join in and have a good time!
Rebecca Missel said:All right - I'll jump in the pool first and say that I can completely agree with you that it's a complicated issue and potentially very challenging. At the same time, as a Jewish person who prefers to date other Jews, having an NJYP event geared to my specific dating needs would be great.
Fairness is always important in our society and I think NJYP does a great job with keeping balance between the different counties, ages, different types of activities, weekdays versus weekends, etc. But we all know those are far more objective measures of fairness than race, religion or ethnicity.
My best suggestion for doing these very niche events would be to try them out for a brief period like 3-6 months and see what the member response is. If you're getting bombarded by requests for "Penn State alumni with Scandinavian roots" dating, then it may have gone too far. But if folks are happy with just a few subspecialities like Jewish, interracial, Asian, or Christian and it brings new people to NJYP, then it may be worth your while.
Good luck whatever you decide!
-
Permalink Reply by Leah on -
I second Rebecca and Laura. I don't find religious or ethnic events to be "exluding" other people..they simply cater to those who choose to attend. If it's not your thing, just don't go. I think these kinds of events would be popular and be doing a great service. Plus, it's hard to know who is of a certain religion, especially Jews, when going to just regular events.
Yes, Jewish people have Jdate - but that's about it. Plus, Jdate is a different kind of service altogether. It isn't a "community" of people that meet, network, and friend each other like NJYP. Also, its far more popular and effective in large urban areas like NYC, so having an NJYP event in Jersey would be fantastic.
-
Permalink Reply by Rachel O! on -
I agree w/ Rebecca and also with Sharif and Tim. It would be nice to address specific groups, but at the same time it will be difficult to accommodate all groups down the line (fairness).
As for the interracial bit. NJ is such a hotbed for diversity - most happy hours/mixers have representation across the board .... Unless folks are requesting a specific race-race then that's just creepy.
Bottom line: you can't make everyone happy. Do what makes you feel comfortable.
-
Permalink Reply by Timothy Breen on
-
So would it be creepy for me to propose a NJYP yellow fever event? Baaaaa!!
Rachel O! said:I agree w/ Rebecca and also with Sharif and Tim. It would be nice to address specific groups, but at the same time it will be difficult to accommodate all groups down the line (fairness).
As for the interracial bit. NJ is such a hotbed for diversity - most happy hours/mixers have representation across the board .... Unless folks are requesting a specific race-race then that's just creepy.
Bottom line: you can't make everyone happy. Do what makes you feel comfortable.
-
Permalink Reply by Craig Wall on -
The only reason I would be against it is if scheduling one of these would replace another Speed Dating event. I wouldn't want to have fewer all-inclusive events in favor of making some of them "niche".
I don't consider "Jewish Singles" dating much different in essence than the "Tall Men" speed dating we're already doing now. So as long as there's both enough demand and enough scheduling room to fit it in, it shouldn't be a problem.
-
Permalink Reply by Michael Park on -
While I don't find this a serious, controversial issue, I do believe diversity and equality should be encouraged at NJYP events. Singles should be willing to meet people of all backgrounds, personalities, jobs, etc.. Specific group functions might be acceptable in a group of millions, a group of 2,000 should probably avoid it.
There are already events that are going that path by requiring a certain physical characteristic, such as the speed dating that requires men be 5'10" or taller (while not imposing any physical restrictions for the women). It would be like creating a speed-dating event where the women had to be skinny or have big... feet.
However, at the end of the day, I agree with Laura L.'s post.. If there are enough people who want something and enough people will attend, it might be worth a shot!
-
Permalink Reply by Marisa on -
"It would be like creating a speed-dating event where the women had to be skinny or have big... feet."
LOL. that's hysterical.
I kind of have to agree, even if there's a demand, I don't think this group is really about that. It's about unifying young professionals in NJ from all backgrounds and all walks of life.
Speed dating is supposed to be fun anyway.... I don't know if you're supposed to go into it expecting to meet your future husband/wife lol... lol. it's supposed to just be a fun way to meet new people you may have not met otherwise.
-
Permalink Reply by Steve Brown on -
I side with Rebecca (and others) - there are a few very simple Jewish singles groups in the state centered in counties, but as someone who's attended a few of them it was tough for them to get the ball rolling, never much talent in a county and tough to promote.
Religion is a tough thing, but meeting people at bar events and finding out their religion rarely go hand in hand - having such events as one-offs would be more than acceptable in my opinion. Jdate is kinda pathetic at times and the events in NYC are impossible as most NYC denizens will run as soon as you say "New Jersey," not to mention "Morristown." From a Catholic friend I've had a similar conversation with, it's tough for them to find out or to ask without seeming weird on first meeting, so Jews are not alone in this.
Creating Jewish, Catholic, certain races etc would be acceptable in my opinion. As part of a growing community, finding ways of servicing their needs is ways of keeping it growing.
© 2010 Created by Laura Occhipinti.
