New Jersey Young Professionals
Get out. Make friends. Meet people in NJ.
Online Dating
As a new bachelor and being thrown into the jungle of first dates and meeting new people I wanted to get a pulse for the success rate of online dating (i.e. match, plenty of fish), networking events and sites such as this, or the more traditional bar approach.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Brittany Waldman on -
Well I can't really offer much of a perspective for the success rate of online dating, etc. I just moved to NJ a few months ago and find myself at a loss for meeting people, so I figured I would give the online venues a shot. In the spirit of optimism, "nothing ventured, nothing gained" and I have heard a few very successful stories from friends
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Permalink Reply by Rich Gomez on -
I don't mean to burst your bubble, but none of my friends nor I have had much success at all with the online dating scene. If you were going to try it, though, I would definitely steer clear of Plenty of Fish. It may be a free site, but the saying "you get what you pay for" definitely applies. Your best bet is to get out and involve yourself in activities you truly enjoy - you will be having fun and projecting a positive attitude which is sure to attract some potential mates who share your interests. And, if you don't happen to meet any dating prospects or friends, at least you are spending your time wisely doing things you find interesting. Standing around a loud, crowded bar hoping to find someone with whom you have something in common is quite boring and a waste of time, in my opinion.
Best of luck!
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Permalink Reply by Laura Occhipinti on -
Right now two people I know are soon to be engaged to men they met on Match.com.
You never know how you are going to meet the person that is right for you so try anything and everything and see what you like.
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Permalink Reply by Susan on -
I've done the match.com thing before - with no luck. I'd met lots of great (and not-so-great) guys, but nothing that lasted. However, I met my current boyfriend through match.com - it was an unexpected surprise - and so far, so good. I say give it a shot. What do you have to lose? :)
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Permalink Reply by Sara Levenstein on -
While I definitely agree with what Rich says about going out and doing activities you enjoy, I don't think it'll hurt to try a dating site for a month and see how you like it. It's just another way to meet people. I also think any sort of outlet, such as NJYP, where you're meeting new people and doing things you enjoy is a good thing.
Good luck out there!
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Permalink Reply by Nicole Fulmino on -
Being a new bachelorette on the scene, I have been wondering the same thing. When I was in a relationship I'd say to my single friends, "oh I would totally try online dating, speed dating" etc. etc. But now that I'm here, I'm not so sure. I think the best way is just meeting people through activities or through friends. But perhaps after some time I'll feel a little more adventurous!
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Permalink Reply by Dar on -
I've tried the online dating on and off for years with not much luck. In my opinion it all comes down to luck, timing, and you need to have a very open mind because a lot of the people on those sites aren't what they appear to be. I agree with what some people have said on here and the best way to meet someone is probably through friends, events or activities that interest you. The best advice I can give is keep an open mind because you never know what can happen or where it can happen. =)
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Permalink Reply by Laura Occhipinti on
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Personally, I think this is worth the read :) I love my Oprah.
http://www.oprah.com/article/omagazine/omag_200802_gorman
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Permalink Reply by Craig Wall on -
IMO, Online Dating is just a subset of real life like anywhere else -- you won't necessarily have more or less success online than you do using other methods.
I know a girl who met her husband on Match, an engaged couple who met on Match, and another married couple who met on Yahoo Personals. So they do work. Circumstances, like anywhere else, just have to be right. :)
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Permalink Reply by Chris Lombardi on -
I would just live your life, enjoy your hobbies and try not to rush to find that special someone. Chances are you will eventually meet someone with similar interests instead of someone on the other end of a computer screen who is most likely misrepresenting themselves so they seem more marketable for lack of better terms.
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Permalink Reply by Jessica on -
My online dating experiences weren't good. What I didn't like was the pressure of being on a first date the first time you meet that person! Despite being rather outgoing normally, I was rather shy in those situations!
I met my husband in NJYP... that worked out much better for me ;-)
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Permalink Reply by Kasey C on -
honestly, the first step in the process is not to expect immediate gradification (see the article laura linked to - it follows along those lines)...regardless of what avenue you pursue to find someone special...its important not to feel compelled to find a long term partner from every person you meet or date you go on...
im NOT pointing this out because i think youre looking for a partner in everyone you meet...i point it out because that is the one thing you must avoid if you try the online dating scene...this is where ive seen so many people disappointed by online dating...you have to look at every 'first date' as a chance encounter and take away from it the good and the bad...dont make assumptions on how the day will go because you never know (ive got some stories i can tell you from the times ive done the online thing in the past that would have turned some people off forever! lol)...but if you can look at each meeting as entertainment and a learning experience and if it doesnt work out it is ok with you...then there is no fear in trying the online thing...if youre really looking for someone long term though...id steer clear of the free sites and try something like eharmony (where you start with compatibility before browsing through pictures)...
that said...online dating shouldnt be used to replace LIFE, but as a complement to it...i know people who have married people they met online, ive had some long term relationships come out of online dating in the past - so im definitely not knocking the online thing...however, i would absolutely still go out and enjoy the things i love to do and go to group events (like njyp)...try not to turn down offers to head out with a group of people (like "yes man")...meeting potential dates through your current network is also a great way to meet people...
the one thing i would avoid for the most part though, is meeting someone out at a bar or club (when there isnt a specific group/gathering)...though people do sometimes meet this way, i dont know of anyone specifically who has had more than a very short term relationship with someone they met out at a bar on a random friday night...
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